For Better, For Worse

"to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part"

Those of you who know us know that we just got married. As in, 6 days ago married. Normal people go on honeymoon trips, take lots of solo shots, photos of their food and pictures of their towel art. They get to live out the "for better" "for richer" and "for in health" parts of their vows. We, apparently, are not to be a normal couple. On July 6th, 2013 Matthew Clark Sutter and I pledged our lives to each other. We took vows. We meant them. And three days later, we got a call that would put everything we just pledged to the test.

On our second day in Costa Rica, as we sat at our first dinner on the resort, we received a message from our waiter that my dad, Kerry, had called in reference to Mr. Sutter and that we needed to call him back immediately. With sinking hearts Matt and I got back to our room as quickly as we could, and attempted to contact our family. As you probably know, it was at that point that Matt received the devastating news from his brother-in-law that his father, Bud, had passed away earlier that afternoon from a heart attack. We got our new travel plans and boarded a plane the next day to return to the states and be with our families. 

Over the last few days there have been so many things to take note of: how thankful I am for my new family, their strength and their faith, God's sovereignty in working ALL things together, and the qualities I've seen in my husband as he faces this challenging season. Unfortunately, I can't cram all of these thoughts and feelings into one post, so please check back as I continue to process this time through writing.

What I do want to talk about today is something that people have constantly been asking me about, and praying for me about... How does a wife of 3 days deal with something like this? How does a marriage survive a blow this early on? How are Matt & I holding up? So, without further ado...

What they don't teach this in pre-marital counseling:

(Sorry Trace)

What they don't teach in premarital counseling is what to do or how to react when three days into your marriage you get a call that shatters your spouse's world. What they don't teach is how to love your husband in his pain, meet him there and be strong for him. What they don't teach you is that your heart will break into pieces with his.

However...

What we did learn in premarital counseling is that Christ must come first. And your spouse must come second. The Word teaches is that we are to love one another as we love ourselves. We are to comfort each other with the same comfort that we receive from Christ. We are called to serve each other in every season, even the worst of seasons, which the Bible promises will come. We are called to point each other towards Christ, and to be each other's constant encouragers in our walks with the Lord. We must love one another. We learned each of our love languages, and that knowledge has been invaluable in the past few days. We practiced communicating, about easy things and hard things. And though I've said countless times these past few days "they don't teach this in premarital counseling" we so value the things we did learn that were building blocks for our marriage and have helped us navigate this tough season. 

Trace Hamiter did our premarital counseling and encouraged us to write down a mission statement for our marriage. Though we didn't write it down in formal wording, we talked about what we wanted this covenant to be about. We want to love God, and serve others through our marriage as we pursue Christ individually and together. We want to present to the world a marriage that is made up of two broken people, who are restored in Christ Alone, and through his love alone are able to love and serve each other. 

This mission in our marriage was given a very real, very sudden opportunity as we faced the passing of Matt's dad. Would we try and rely on each other, or Christ? Would we crumble or would we stand strong in our faith? Would we trust that our loving God is sovereign or wander in confusion? We don't claim to be perfect. We don't claim to be walking through this on our own strength. But we are resting in Christ's arms, on his strength, and by His grace we are able to have joy. We pray that each of you would see this in us, and know this joy yourself.

We are being forced to rely on the Word and our faith alone. We are so thankful for the families we have and the friends that have been placed in our lives to help get us through this stage of our marriage. We will grow together, through this, with the desire and mission that God alone be glorified. Join us in praying that more people will come to know our Jesus as a result of this.

On a final note, as we have told some of you, we count this season as a blessing. We are starting our marriage totally focused on Christ, knowing that if we rely on ourselves we. will. fail. We have grown closer in our 6 days of marriage than some couples grow in 6 years. We have held each other, cried together, laughed and celebrated the man who helped shape my husband into the man he is today. We MUST count our blessings in this, and many more of these blessings will be shared in the days to come. 

Ways you can be praying for us:
- That we would seek Christ first in this, leaning on his word, his truth and his faithfulness
- Protection from the lies of the evil one that lead to fear, selfishness, distrust and anger
- For Matt: understanding, peace that surpasses all understanding, comfort and a way to hang on to his joy
- For Amanda: for peace that surpasses all understanding, for strength to be Matt's strong helper during this time, and for knowledge of how best to love and serve Matt as he grieves

We love you all dearly and are so thankful for your encouragement over these last few days. May Christ alone receive all the glory,

Amanda